I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You made out with two different species that night
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize