This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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