My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
