would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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