GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
