honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
