i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
