ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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