Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
