You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
