Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
