There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
