well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
home. puking in laundry basket.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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