every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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