i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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