Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
