Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
