I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
