The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
