What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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