She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
