You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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