i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I would fuck him just for his dog
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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