Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
