did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
