i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
