i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
God, I missed his penis.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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