im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
