it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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