just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
