He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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