Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He felt like a one man threesome
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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