The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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