3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
