My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Randomize
