You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
