they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
i out mim tonsoeep
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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