I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Small penises have feelings too.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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