I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
