this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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