I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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