I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
