dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
