there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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