If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Did I show you my penis last night?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
