I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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