Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
