hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
