she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
