My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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