She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
