YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i need to put some appletini on your dick
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
