He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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