We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
