If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
