my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
