At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
