It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
