so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
