whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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