READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
